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Tips For NES Stress Relief
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We say it won't happen to us, but eventually even the best of us falter.  You claim to be patient with your NES, but one day you die one too many times at that same point in a game that has been plaguing you for days.  You just cannot get past that part.  Tempers flare and your instincts take over...next thing you know you're standing over the rubble of what was once your precious NES and your favorite game.  This is something that shouldn't happen to anyone, so here's some tips on how to keep from breaking your NES or any accessories in a fit of animal rage. 

Things Not To Do:

1) Never, ever throw your controller on the ground.  This may feel good and is usually my first instinct when I get mad at a game, but it will not solve anything and will often damage the controller.  Now I admit that those old NES controllers can take a beating, but if you continuously get frustrated with a game and do this whenever you get mad, the controller will eventually break.  This happened with my problems with Double Dragon.  My controller broke into too many pieces to count.  There's no reason to have to buy a new controller...if you have to spend any unnecessary money, the game has gotten the best of you. 

2) Never throw your controller at your NES or your TV.  With your luck you will hit the power button on the NES and all your hours of hard work will be wasted.  Also, throwing a controller at a hard surface is much more dangerous than throwing it at a carpeted floor, plus you don't want to risk breaking your TV and your controller at the same time.

3) Never play your Nintendo mad!!! (See below)

4) Don't blame yourself.  If you're having so much trouble, then it can't be your fault.  Blame the programmers.  It's their fault you're being put through this anguish.

Here's what to do instead:

-Get up and pace around the room for a bit.  Just get away from your NES for a few minutes to take your mind off of what is making you angry.

-Don't play your Nintendo mad.  I can't stress this enough.  A lot of people will give you some dumb idea like, "stop, take a few deep breaths until you feel calm, then continue"...BULLSHIT!!!  All this does is bottle up your anger which is even worse.  This will lead to further horrible outbursts and you will likely end up with much more than a broken controller.  It will also lead you to relate bad memories with your Nintendo, which has given you so many hours of pleasure and been a light in your life through all that has been bad.

-Make excuses.  Nothing better than a bullshit excuse to make yourself feel better.  My favorites are, "This game has a glitch." "The controller locks up every time."  My personal favorite is, "This game cannot be beat and now I can see why."

-Release your anger somehow.  As I said, bottled up anger is the root of all evil.  Scream curses at your pets, punch a wall, punch your best friend, but don't damage your NES.  Remember, living things can heal, but a NES will stay broken.

-Scream at the game.  You're bigger than any of the enemies you face on that game and none of them can hurt you.  Tell them how you feel.  Insult them, their parents, their children, their pets, anything that will make you feel better.  If those enemies make you that mad then they don't deserve your respect.

-Go out and buy a new game.  What can make you feel better than the feel of a brand new used Nintendo game to bring you so many more hours of joy.

-Play an old favorite or a game which you are the master of.  What better way to restore your confidence than by breezing through a game you are the best at.

-If none of this works, just turn your NES off.  As I said, you do not want to play Nintendo angry.  It will just lead to worse things.  Take a break for as long as you need, whether it is a few hours or a few days.  Just get away from it.